I never seem to sleep very well the night before chemo because I am taking steroids before, during and after. So I was running on empty when I got to the SB Cancer Cancer as I only had gotten about three hours of sleep. So the bad news is that I was a bit loopy during some of my chemo (it is always a bit unnerving to feel that you aren't quite in control of your body). In particular, when they give me my benadryl, I can feel a wave of tiredness and disequilibrium set it. And I think that due to the fact that I had so little sleep the night before, my benadryl infusion put me into a totally spacey place (I was checking email during this time - some of which have completely disappeared!). The Center nutritionist came by to see me during my chemo which was great - but I was all loopy. As I spoke with her, I could feel myself stopping mid-sentence, loosing my train of thought, or saying things that were slightly nonsensical! Maybe this is also just a bit of the chemo brain that you hear people get. This was not pleasant, but it all passed. I just thought, thank goodness, that I haven't had this experience every time! And even if this happens during my next (LAST!) chemo, well, it will be OK, because it is my LAST chemo! I wore my pink wig to chemo, which seems to make people at the Cancer Center (including me) smile. It is hard to be in a sour mood when you have neon pink hair on your head. I think that we have even convinced my oncologist, Dr. Kass to wear one for Halloween! I think that the pink will suit him nicely. We just have to figure out what to do with the mustache. :)
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| Meeting with Dr. Kass before heading into chemo. |
I am happy to report that my mom and dad are here with me for two weeks. My kitchen fairy is back! Yahoo! It has been wonderful to rely upon their support this week. My mom went with me to chemo on Tuesday and kept me company. We have put my dad on chopping duty in the kitchen (mom cleans the veggies, he chops, they cook, I eat - sounds pretty good for me, no?!). Chris arrives on Friday for a one week visit - which is great because this is the longest we have gone without seeing each other since 2007 (pre-engagment)!
As I mentioned in my last blog update, my treatment seems to be going well. My MRI showed no dye uptake into my tumors - which means that they are essentially gone (or almost gone!). So we couldn't ask for better news at this stage. So my attempt to be a superstar patient may be paying off! With that in mind I have not tossed my green juice and run off to Crushcakes for a mini red velvet - rather I am doing my best to stick to my cancer-fighting diet (low sugar, no alcohol, no caffeine, no dairy, lots of greens and plants and some animals - organic whenever possible). I have to say that I am looking forward to seeing what the heck my body is going to crave once I finish my cancer treatment! I have a feeling that desserts aren't going to appeal very much, but am pretty sure that I will want to enjoy a glass of wine every now and then! A nice, full-bodied red...yum!
I was extremely tired yesterday so watched the movie, Iris, about the philosopher and writer Iris Murdoch. It was a beautiful film that I definitely recommend and I have just started reading her novel, To The Sea, To The Sea. I have made it through quite a few books, so will try and post a list of recommendations at some point...
I also wanted to share an article that Jenny Lee posted awhile back, which Chris sent to me - The Moral Bucket List. It rather nicely encapsulates some of that thoughts that went through my head when I found out I had cancer (actually, I thought about this stuff even before I had cancer, but finding out that you have cancer brings a new intensity to these kinds of musings). This article reminded me of the importance of gratitude for all of the good things in my life and that a life worth living is one that is full of honesty, love and meaningful realtionships.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/opinion/sunday/david-brooks-the-moral-bucket-list.html?mwrsm=Email
Thank you friends for helping me stay grounded, focused and grateful.
x
Jodi
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| Thinking of wonder woman and her magic bracelets as I go to chemo! |
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